Friday, 1 March 2013


Okay, I went to Melbourne today.  Omg, Melburnians are so grim!  See them, standing there or sitting in their seats on the train, or walking down the street in all their black clothes…  Crikey.  It’s like nobody has the energy to have a little smile.  Maybe it’s because of the weather.  It’s been so hot – that can’t be comfortable, for black-wearing people, let’s face it.  But seriously, I got a coffee from one of the uber-trendy new places in Gertrude Street, and the barista looked like he would have been equally happy pouring snake bile into my cup.
Anyway, enough about the weirdness of Melbourne, I wanted to talk about something more interesting – Literary Crushes.  I’m not talking about the author who you loved so much after reading their book you wanted to marry them.  I’m talking about book characters you have a crush on.  Whose motivations and backstory you contemplate.  Who you find yourself re-reading the book for.
I love the feeling of being in love with a character, especially a character who’s built so perfectly it makes me wish I could hug him/her and take them home.  Actually, I think I know I’m seriously crushing on a character when I don’t want to drag them out of the world they inhabit – rather, I’d like to visit them in their world.
Anyway, ahem.  Characters Whom I Love.  I have several, but here is the current Top Ten:
1) Sherlock Holmes (Conan Doyle) – Always occupies the top of this list, because repressed super-brains hit my kink right there.  I have been smitten with Sherlock since I was a teenager, and the love has not yet faded.
2) Homer Yannos (Tomorrow series – John Marsden) – Because hot Greek boys with wicked grins and a talent for leadership are hot?  Why are we even justifying this?
3) Wolfboy (This is Shyness – Leanne Hall) – He howls at the moon!  He wears a pair of jeans perfectly!  He has a Wolverine quiff!  His name is Jethro!  Say no more.
4) Clarice Starling (The Silence of the Lambs – Thomas Harris) – Okay, I’m a little bit gay for Clarice Starling.  She’s young, vulnerable but strong, and she’s intelligent.  She relies on conviction and instinct as much as procedure and logic.  I have to agree with Lecter’s assessment: ‘I think it would be quite something to know you in private life.’
5) Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee) – Because he is Atticus Finch.  Actually, I think Atticus might have been one of my first crushes.
6) Jonah Griggs (On the Jellicoe Road – Melina Marchetta) – In uniform!  Meaty and muscular! Angst-ridden!  Kisses to die for!  Wow.  What I love most about Jonah is how solid he is – in both a literal and literary sense.  Marchetta rules.
7) Cassel Sharpe (The Curseworkers series – Holly Black) – Cassel is an awesome character – neither a black hat nor a white, he is a perfectly grey chess piece.  He understands the skill and temptation of the con, but is always torn because at heart he is a basically good person.  I could read this guy’s story forever.
8) Will Herondale (Infernal Devices – Cassandra Clare) – Oh wow, I fell so hard for this guy.  So gorgeous, so full of angst!  And he’s kind of the Shadowhunter-Who-Doesn’t-Give-A-Shit, which warms the cockles of my heart.  I very much want Will to get the girl and have a happy ending when the next book finally comes out…but I will be equally happy if he doesn’t.   Bwahahahaha!!!  The Pain!!
9) Jack Irish (Bad Debts – Peter Temple) – This man has the kind of wit I love.  He won me over with his wit.  I think the football obsession might do my head in though.
10) Norah (Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist – David Levithan/Rachel Cohn) – Because she has great musical taste, and she could really steam up a room, and I’m interested to learn about that thing she does with her tongue.
Okay, that’s it.  I’m sure it will change again in a week, although Sherlock will still be my number one, because I’ve been in love with him for at least twenty-five years, and love that like that will never die.

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